en-us Mon, 10 Dec 2018 15:19:04 +0000 Sett RSS Generator Meet Clark Now I have two kids. So far, it's pretty similar to just having one kid. The time and energy needed to sustain double the lifeforms can be obtained almost entirely from further lowering of parenting standards. There are a lot of good jokes about this. You can see from th]]>

Now I have two kids. So far, it's pretty similar to just having one kid. The time and energy needed to sustain double the lifeforms can be obtained almost entirely from further lowering of parenting standards. There are a lot of good jokes about this. You can see from this blog how it goes. Max got a post at one month announcing his existence and another at four months about parenting surprises. Clark? He's eight months now, and this is all he gets.

Anyway, behold how cute he is:

So far, baby Clark looks basically the same as baby Max did, except for a little more hair, to the point where sometimes we can't tell which is which in a photo:

But they're not quite identical. Here are Max and Clark at around six months:

Clark has been more chill the whole time. Sleeps better, eats better, is more relaxed. Must get it from his mom. Max loves Clark and thinks he's so cute and often wants to hug and kiss him and give him toys, but now that Clark has started crawling, Clark slimes Max's toys and Max is somehow surprised and distraught. "NO, Clark!" How could he? ... he's a baby, dude, and you left the slinky on the floor.

Like Max, we used our baby name generator algorithm web app thing, Bantling, to name Clark. Here we also used the Starbucks test to disqualify a name (if the barista gets the name wrong or asks you to repeat, the name is not obvious enough). There are no more boy names in existence that would satisfy both Chloe and me now, so we pretty much have to stop making children.

I aim to make a video that better expresses his personality when he turns one on July 29, like the ones for Max turning one and two, and to track his vocabulary acquisition up until two as well. No mind-controlled robot baby Roomba chariot, though.

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Mon, 26 Mar 2018 16:30:00 +0000
Fourth Year Book Sales I always love it when people share revenue data for their apps / games / books / works, and it's been four years since The Motivation Hacker came out, so here's another updated graph of ebook sales by platform including the second year. (See also Second Year Book Sales, First Year Book Sales, Aftermath: The Motivation Hacker)

I forgot about checking the numbers for year three, and now it's been just over four years, so I thought I'd take another look. Looks like sales have more or less held steady on Kindle and the other ebook platforms, but CreateSpace paperbacks have come out of nowhere, so year four was better than year three or even two. Cool! (CreateSpace paperbacks cost more than ebooks, $7.99 to $2.99, but I set it so that the royalty is the same either way, about $2.21.)

Ratings kept falling on Amazon, from 4.4 two years ago to now 4.1. Goodreads inched down from 3.85 to 3.81, with a combined total of 633 ratings. I wrote the book quickly (about 200 hours total) and have now made about $17K, or around $86/hr. Not a huge amount, but not bad for something that I initially thought only 50-100 people would read.

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Sat, 10 Jun 2017 21:23:01 +0000
Max's Vocabulary Acquisition Max's vocabulary started exploding around 15-17 months old. I started writing down everything he could say (with understanding of what it means) starting at 18 months, when he could say 107 words. I stopped when he hit 1000 words, a day before his second birthday. During that time, he learned an average of five words a day. Here's the graph:

I did kinda want him to hit 1000, so I spent extra effort teaching him words in the last nine days.

Out of the 1000, he knew 248 Chinese words, 738 English words, and 14 words in other random languages. He learns most of his Chinese words from me, and some at daycare. I speak mostly Chinese to him, but it's not natural for me, so sometimes I switch back to English, plus Chloe speaks all English to him, which is why his English is way ahead.

What kind of words does he know?

Objects 167
Verbs 130
Food 102
Animals 91
Adjectives 65
People 57
Body 44
Numbers 40
Exclamations 38
Vehicles 33
Places 29
Other nouns 26
Adverbs 23
Letters 21
Colors 20
Sounds 19
Clothing 18
Sky 15
Activities 13
Pronouns 10
Directions 9
Shapes 6
Times 6
Emotions 6
Determiners 4
Prepositions 3
Articles 2
Classifiers 2
Particles 1

(Don't pay too much attention to the long tail of grammar words, I got bored of assigning parts of speech and didn't do it very precisely.)

Among his words, some favorites: contrail, aurora, fluffy, Buddha, skeleton, beige, oval, 面包车, Jupiter, 新年快乐, cuddle, babysitter (pronounced "baby sister"), slime, crunchy, faceplant, and 帅哥.

While I was in the middle of doing this, this image started getting passed around, where a guy tracked the first 100 words his son said.

Funnily enough, in the first 100, it looks exponential, whereas the graph for Max's 100-1000 is pretty linear. Max's graph for 1-100 would have probably looked exponential and very similar to this other kid's but shifted a couple months earlier in age. Well, I'll start from the beginning for the next one!

There's another guy who did this rigorously by actually recording everything in his house for his kid's first three years and then going back to find the first times the kid said each word. From his paper:

Although it is widely known that children’s vocabularies grow more or less exponentially in this developmental period, we found the rate of worth births abruptly drops at 20 months.

Interestingly, Max didn't show this pattern yet–that guy's kid topped out at 3 words per day around 20 months, then dropped way down, only getting to 517 words by age 36 months. I stopped keeping track at 1000, but Max is still learning a ton of new words–not following either trend.

If you want to see the full words, play around with the data, or do a similar vocabulary tracking project of your own, here's the spreadsheet: Max's Vocabulary Words

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Tue, 30 May 2017 15:30:00 +0000
Video: Max's Second Year Max recently turned two, so I made another video! See also the video I made for his first year. ]]>

Max recently turned two, so I made another video! See also the video I made for his first year.

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Thu, 18 May 2017 15:30:56 +0000
How to Really Make an Impression When Speaking Chinese I just got back from a business trip to China, where I visited Beijing, Shenzhen, and Guangzhou. I listened to and spoke a lot of Chinese, and while I can't yet get by in a business negotiation without occasional-to-frequent interpretation, I think my interpreter wouldn']]>

I just got back from a business trip to China, where I visited Beijing, Shenzhen, and Guangzhou. I listened to and spoke a lot of Chinese, and while I can't yet get by in a business negotiation without occasional-to-frequent interpretation, I think my interpreter wouldn't have survived if I hadn't been able to get most of what people were saying on my own. Plus, I made a very good impression whenever I dropped some Mandarin. I can be proud of how much I can still converse in Chinese now, almost ten years after I stopped taking Chinese classes. (Thanks Skritter for maintaining my vocabulary all this time!)

But the real demonstration of my language skills was when a guy came up to me to hand me a flyer for a Chinese kung fu club that was just opening up. "Chinese gongfu! Very interesting!", he said.

“对不起,我没有时间。” Sorry, I don't have time.

After this basic response with good pronunciation, the guy was excited by my apparent comprehension, and redoubled his efforts. After a bit of conversation, I decided to tell him I was flying out tonight and so couldn't possibly come see the fight:

“我住在美国,在旧金山。我没有时间,我今天晚上要打飞机。“ I live in America, in San Francisco. I don't have time, tonight I'm going to get on a plane.

The guy seemed very confused at this point, so I just left. My colleague Lisa then burst out laughing, "You just made a BIG mistake!" Apparently even though you can 打车 ("hit car", or "take a cab"), you are supposed to 坐飞机 ("sit plane", or "take a plane"). If you try to 打飞机 ("hit plane"), that's something else entirely. So what I ended up saying was, I don't have time, tonight I'm going to masturbate.

Lisa laughed at me for at least five minutes.

This reminds me of the time as a second-year Chinese student I was trying to tell a joke during the department's Mid-Autumn Moon Festival about the policeman who was trying to catch a blonde, brunette, and redhead who had escaped from jail. "Catch, I know that word, like to catch a plane!" (I should really learn from my pattern of misusing plane-catching-related verbs.) Of course instead of 赶 (gǎn, "catch (a bus, plane, etc.)"), I used the wrong tone and said that the policeman wanted to 干 (gàn, "fuck") the blonde, brunette, and redhead. It fit just well enough for everyone in the Chinese department to assume I meant it, and the next day Ma Laoshi chewed me out for swearing!

Anyway, now I need to get a Chinese tutor, since if I try to do a business conversation in Chinese by myself, sooner or later I will confidently declare that our future partnership will be harmonious and erotic, or something equally hilarious. Or else I'll use language more appropriate for my toddler Max, with whom I currently speak most of my Chinese. I need to get all my egregious mistakes out of the way. Let me know if you know someone really good. I’m thinking something like one hour per week. Cost is no object. Mainland Mandarin focus, Beijing style (not southern). Remote okay, or in person in San Francisco.

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Sun, 26 Mar 2017 14:57:46 +0000
Video: Max's First Year Since Max turned one last week, I made a poignant video of poignancy showing him growing up over the past year. ]]>

Since Max turned one last week, I made a poignant video of poignancy showing him growing up over the past year.

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Mon, 16 May 2016 15:58:04 +0000
MealSquares, the Ultimate Lifehacker Food I used to eat food. I still do, but I used to, too. You have probably heard of Soylent, the liquid meal replacement where you can conveniently get all your balanced nutrients by just drinking liquid Silicon Valley. I mean, you've already outsourced all your other chores ]]>

I used to eat food. I still do, but I used to, too.

You have probably heard of Soylent, the liquid meal replacement where you can conveniently get all your balanced nutrients by just drinking liquid Silicon Valley. I mean, you've already outsourced all your other chores to my fellow startups–don't you want to save another two hours per day and eliminate all superfluities?

No? Yes? Well, it's not for everyone, but I sure would like more time for my important stuff, and I've already eaten food tons of times. Plus, if I can have my default meal be a healthy one, I'll sacrifice extra tastiness (which is why I don't eat dessert). I'm in. Forget eating! Yet...

I like Soylent, but it takes a lot of trust in nutrition science to say, "Let's just combine a bunch of individual micronutrients that match the recommended daily allowances, since those are exactly what all humans need, right?" Never mind that some of the RDAs were established by a handful of weak studies–you still have to believe that not only did we get the nutrient levels right, but that those nutrients are all you need, and that they work in isolation, in the specific forms that are included in your Science Drink (which may not be bioavailable or bioequivalent).

Enter MealSquares. Real foods, not micronutrients. Solid, not liquid. Baked, not pasteurized. They're still a complete meal replacement made by a Bay Area startup, but they're designed by the best nutrition geek I know out of foods you would buy at Whole Foods instead of micronutrients you would buy from a lab. And they're delicious!

... Well, to me, anyway. I'm crazy and don't eat sweet things much (although I love them), so my sugar adaptation level is very low, making the occasional dark chocolate chip found in a MealSquare like a sweet explosion for my mouth. Most people who tried them thought they were too dense and too dry.

But wait! Now they have individual packaging, and so they're able to include a lot more water, leading to moister, fluffier MealSquares. (I still wouldn't call them either moist or fluffy, absolutely, but you shoulda tried the old version.) You still have to drink water while eating them, but they are a lot better than before. An informal poll of six victims showed a 1-10 tastiness increase of 2.25 points, to 5.2 (not even counting my superfan 9 rating). I'm eating them even more now and just switched to four boxes per month instead of two.

Why does individual packaging help? It turns out that if you are aiming for a long shelf life, there's a variety of things you can do, but mostly you don't want air or water for bad things to grow in, so you vacuum-seal things and don't let air in. Soylent is pasteurized, so there are no bacteria in there until you open it. Clif bars have insane amounts of sugar, which suppresses bacteria somehow (weird, right?). Some foods are irradiated. Others are dried. I'm sure there are many more tricks processed foods use. To increase the moisture further while increasing shelf life, the MealSquares guys are hoping to do do some science magic and someday lead us to the glorious muffin-like MealSquare promised us in our early days.

I've been eating MealSquares for about half my food for 16 months now. I'm not sick of them at all, and my biomarkers have been fine. Mostly I save time, energy, and money compared to how I used to eat. Knowing you can always just sup on a square lets you avoid overeating or undereating (especially while traveling), and the 400 calorie portion sizes are great for maintaining focus throughout the day. When I wanted to cut down to low bodyfat and only eat 1200-1500 calories a day, the MealSquares were the easiest food to do it with. Now that I'm adding mass again, I just eat more of them.

I still have social lunches with friends and home-cooked dinners with Chloe (although we often cheat and use Gobble–thanks, chore-obviating startup!), and I don't care as much what I eat then because my overall nutrition is much better than before. If I were super concerned about the nutrients, I would just try to eat organ meats more often, 'cause those have a ton of everything.

So if you have tried MealSquares before and found them just a little too dry, try the new ones with individual packaging. If you haven't tried them yet, order a sample box. If you are comparing them in your mind to that delicious dinner you cooked, don't. Instead compare a MealSquare plus a bunch of extra minutes to your last convenience breakfast/snack/lunch that you had to make or go out and buy. Even a foodie isn't going gourmet three meals a day. I'm not saying you will definitely like MealSquares–tastes vary a lot with these. But if you do like them, the possible benefits are large. They've been a huge quality of life improvement for me, so it's worth finding that out.

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Mon, 30 Nov 2015 16:31:00 +0000
Surprises From Max's First Four Months Baby Max is four months old today. I posted when he was one month, talking about what a difficult little demon he was, but after eight weeks he magically changed overnight into the sweetest baby ever! We were so surprised the first time he slept 7.5 hours straight instead of waking up every 3 hours, we kept waking up anyway just to go stare at him. "Maybe there's something wrong with him!" But he kept doing it, and now he sleeps from around 8pm to 4:30am every night, wakes up to feed, then goes back to sleep until around 7:30am. It is amazing. And where before he cried a lot, always seemed unhappy, and didn't even know how to smile, now he generally loves everything and will smile his head off if you just look at him.

Here are some more surprises from the first four months of Max.

1. He loves "reading" books.

I had thought that before he could read or understand words, or even be able to visually recognize cartoons of things, he would get bored when I read to him. But even from the beginning, books held his attention and excited him. Thanks for all the books, everyone (but especially Mom)!

2. Breastfeeding can be super hard.

There's a lot of arguments, a ton of bad science, and one or two pieces of good science on the effects of breastfeeding on child development. As far as I can tell, breastfeeding doesn't do a lot of the things people think it does: it doesn't affect allergies, asthma, obesity, tooth cavities, height, blood pressure, or respiratory infections. (Interesting: unlike in most mammals, the antibodies that human babies get from breastmilk don't go into their bloodstream, just their GI tract.)

But what it does do is give the baby slightly lower incidence of GI tract infections (diarrhea) and atopic eczema (rashes), plus several IQ points. (It's unclear exactly how many and it likely depends on how long and how exclusively the baby breastfeeds, but it's probably somewhere between 3 and 6 points.)

IQ is interesting not only because intelligence is important, but because it's a decent generalized measure for the way that the environment has affected the brain. If breastfeeding gave you more IQ, it probably also made you less impulsive, less violent, less prone to psychiatric disease, more socially skilled, etc. Each point of IQ gives roughly +2% lifetime earnings and +2% productivity.

Given how obsessed I am with intelligence, I was all like, "Heeey Chloe, wanna, like, breastfeed him until he's two?" (She did not.) But then when he actually gets born and she goes to breastfeed him, they ran into nearly every problem in the book: late start, bad latch, tongue tie, too much early weight loss, low supply, lactation consultant, nipple confusion, nursing strikes, plugged ducts, tongue tie again, flat nipple, another lactation consultant, nipple shields, milk blisters, two different supplemental nutrition systems, three different breast pumps... it was not supposed to be this hard. It still kind of sucks, because low milk supply hasn't gone away despite Chloe breastfeeding for hours and pumping seven times a day for months. We still have to supplement with formula at every feeding, so we have all the downsides of both feeding methods at the same time.

At least he is still getting some breastmilk, and he and Chloe get to bond while feeding, and I still get to feed him sometimes when he takes a bottle.

3. He's not already a perfect swimmer.

The Diving Reflex - Infant Babies Swimming Underwater

Max swimming

Until six months, babies have this cool reflex which prevents them from breathing in water and also lets them kind of swim a little bit. You can use this to jumpstart swimming lessons, since you can quickly work your way up to dunking infants in the water without them choking.

We tried putting Max in infant swimming lessons at two months, but he was clearly not ready to do anything except float and brief submersions (he couldn't even really consciously move his limbs yet), so we paused that for a bit and have just been practicing in the bathtub. Now that he's great at holding his head up and can grab things and use his legs, maybe he'll be ready to learn the next steps. I thought you started by just kind of throwing the baby in the water and then pulling him out after he swims for a bit, but apparently you have to take it super slow.

4. He is obsessed with standing.

A few weeks ago, Chloe told me she read somewhere that once they get basic head control, babies like it when you pull them up by the arms to help them sit. I tried it with Max, and he immediately extended his legs to stand up and started grinning madly. He then stood up for two minutes straight with me just helping him balance before he sat down again. Now he can't get enough of it and can stand for up to four minutes! Old wives tales say that too much early standing makes babies bowlegged, but this seems false if the baby is initiating it.

He drools torrentially while doing this.

5. I put him in daycare.

I had anticipated that in order to give Max the best opportunities, I would take care of him at home and play with him all day long and do various things to enhance his development. Then I started researching things and haven't come across any good counterarguments to The Nurture Assumption, which, by pointing out that pretty much all parenting and child development research is crap due to not taking into account the lessons we have learned with behavioral genetics, convincingly argues that almost nothing parents do will have any lasting effect on a child's behavior or personality. The corollary is that you can pretty much parent in whichever ways are fun for you and the kid without having to worry about trying to shape the child's personality–you can only affect your relationship with the kid.

And surprisingly, even though playing with a baby is fun, it's pretty boring to play with a baby for more than an hour at a time, let alone all day.

So instead of making big sacrifices to eke out illusory improvements in Max's future awesomeness, we decided to just put him in this great family childcare across the street during the day, where he gets loving attention and Chinese immersion and we get our productivity back.

It's hard to find good research on the effects of daycare and preschool and child development, so if you know of any, let me know. Unschooling still looks like the thing to do when he gets older if I have time.

While it felt like he was developing super slowly before, now that he's in daycare, it feels like he's going really fast: every day there's something new. I'm trying to be careful to be present and not miss things.

6. Talking to babies in Chinese is hard.

It wasn't natural for me to talk to Max at first, but I practiced it and now I can babble at him no problem, mostly by rambling about absurd topics. Now that he's getting closer to the age where we should really be careful about consistently speaking in one language or the other, though, I've been trying more and more to just speak in Chinese to him, and my crazy logorrhea approach isn't possible without crazy vocabulary. My baby-specific vocabulary needs work.

English: "Wow, look at that drool bubble! It's so big, I bet it could drown one seventh of the population of a miniature bacteria planet. Did you know that some bacteria are only like 500 nanometers wide? ... Little Bunny Foo Foo went hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head. Then he looted their corpses and got seventeen silver pieces and a crude wooden club. Down came the Good Fairy, and Little Bunny Foo Foo attacked her on sight, catching her by surprise and dealing triple damage. She counterattacked and did five damage, but then Little Bunny Foo Foo bopped her on the head and she went down and he reached level two and got the Mighty Leap ability." [... and so on for many years of LBFF's adventuring career.]

Chinese: "哇,看看你的口水滔滔不绝!口水太多了,哎哟!... 你很可爱。你站起来了。你的头大的不得了。要不要睡觉?... 很多口水 ..."

("Wow, look at your unceasing torrent of drool! Your drool is too much, ouch! ... You are very cute. You are standing up. Your head is exceedingly big. Do you want to sleep? ... lots of drool...")

So far it's probably not too important–he's in the pre-six-months stage where he just needs to hear enough of the phonemes of each language to learn to differentiate them, and he's doing that fine (although if anyone wants to come and speak any other languages besides English and Chinese to him to help him retain phonemic flexibility, please come over!). But soon we might need to do one-parent-one-language to keep him from getting confused, and it looks like that parent might be me.

7. Grandparents have incredible patience with their grandkids.

"Want to hold the baby for an hour while he just sleeps?" "Sure!" How convenient.

8. 4:00am is no longer my least likely time to be awake.

Max goes to sleep around 8, give or take half an hour, then wakes up for the first time around 4:30, give or take an hour. So now that's when I sleep. Max and Chloe go back to sleep after that first night feeding, but it's a great time to get work done, so that's when I start hacking. I like it. It's nice to get stuff done before anyone else is awake to distract me.

9. Minimalism doesn't exactly mesh with mad science

Max on his robot prototype

My mad science project has been to get Max riding around on a mind-controlled robot using an EEG cap to let him turn it with his brainwaves. But it's taken me this long to get the robot base working, because every time I think I have what I need for the electronics, I just need one more piece, and then I have to wait for it to come from the internet. (Wish I was working out of a hackerspace.) So I end up with more and more electronics stuff–a soldering iron here, some heat-shrink tubing there–and it is not good for my 99 things list. I haven't updated it yet, but I'll have to update it soon, and I'll be over on my possessions and have to get rid of some stuff soon.

But I finally got my Raspberry-Pi-controlled modified Roomba driving around with Max riding on it, and it's hilarious. I started to work with the EEG stuff last weekend, and it looks like I'm going to need a really solid baby-sized cap with some new type of electrode in order to get useful signal out of it while he's moving his head around this much. We'll see if I can get it working. This should have been the hard part, not the basic circuitry for the robot, but I resisted getting the right tools for too long because I didn't want extra stuff. This isn't how most mad scientists operate–they have whole lairs full of random gear. Sometimes I just wish I had my own secret volcano base filled with tesla coils, okay?

10. His favorite thing to look at is Chloe's camera.

Faces are pretty good, but a camera is the best! He can't look away. We end up with lots of what look like baby selfies.

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Sat, 05 Sep 2015 21:16:00 +0000
Bantling: Name Your Baby With Algorithms When Chloe and I were trying to come up with baby names, every conversation would go something like this:

Chloe: "New baby name idea: Katana."

Nick: "How do you spell that?"

Chloe: "Like a katana, duh!"

Nick: "People don't know how to spell that."

Chloe: "What about Celeste?"

Nick: "Even if they know how to spell it, they're still going to ask."

Chloe: "Onyx!"

Nick: "That is impractical, because it will not be recognized at first as a name."

Chloe: "Sage?"

Nick: "Is that a boy's name or a girl's name? It's better if it's not gender-ambiguous."

Chloe: "How about Sophia?"

Me: "I like it! Except... is that with an F or a P-H? Plus, isn't it really trendy? Never mind, I hate it."

Chloe: "Let's look at lists of every color, animal, flower, and mineral and find ones that would make good names!"

Me: "Let's embody our preferences in algorithmic form so that I don't have to continue personally shooting down names that you like."

So I did this. I downloaded the entire Social Security name database, which has all 93,600 names that have been used at least 5 times in one year since 1880–everything from John and Mary to Aaqil and Zyree. I then wrote a web app which ranks all the names according to 12 algorithmic ranking criteria:

  1. Spellability: penalizes names which sound similar to other common names, since people will not know how to spell them.
  2. Pronounceability: penalizes names which we think could be pronounced two different ways, or which have Rs in them. (This is not a well-implemented metric.)
  3. Timelessness: penalizes anything that's extra old-fashioned, is extra trendy now, or was a fad name in the past.
  4. Relevancy: penalizes very rare names (which often look like crazy typo gibberish).
  5. Rarity: penalizes names that are very common.
  6. Secularity: penalizes names which are clearly Biblical. (Should also include other religions, but doesn't yet.)
  7. Shortness: penalizes names with many letters or many syllables.
  8. Recitability: penalizes names that aren't easy to spell aloud (due to having W's or slightly unclearly pronounced letters).
  9. Nicklessness: penalizes names that have shorter nickname versions (like 'Nicholas').
  10. Nickedness: penalizes names that are nicknames of longer names (like 'Nick').
  11. Chineseness: penalizes names that would be hard to pronounce for native Chinese speakers due to unfamiliar consonant clusters and other sound patterns.
  12. Genderedness: penalizes names that are ambiguously gendered.

I then put it online as a web app. You drag the twelve sliders (which is a user experience debacle guaranteed to make Chloe vomit in a spiral every time she sees it) to control the weights of each scorer based on how much you care about it. It puts all the names in order from best to worst, and then you start at the top and indicate your actual personal preference with like or hate buttons. So you are still choosing the names, but the app presents them in an efficient order. Partners in baby-naming can then also rank names according to their preferences, and you can see which names you both like.

For me, this was the obvious way to do it. I quickly went through about 3600 of the 93,600 names, liking 76 and hating the rest. Chloe did about 3700 names (different ones, for her different preferences) and liked 81 of them. We then reviewed each other's, often using the phone test, where you pretend to answer the phone with your name ("Kent Winter–err, no."). This left an overlap of about 15 names (mostly girls' names).

Then it was time for the fridge test: we put all the common names on sticky notes on the fridge. Each day we would look up at the fridge, exclaim, "What the hell? "Delta"? NO!" and take one down until only four remained, and then eventually only two: Hazel and Max.

Baby spawned male, so Max it was.

Try it out at It's also open source on GitHub. Of course I basically stopped making any improvements to it the instant it became good enough as an internal use tool to name this one baby, so it's pretty gimp, but it's kind of fun to hate on all the hilarious names that parents be picking.

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Thu, 11 Jun 2015 23:35:18 +0000
Meet Max Apart from when he's asleep, this is what he looks like most of the time, though: I am proud to have spawned a baby]]> We have reproduced! Max is one month old now. Here's his birth announcement photo, where he looks adorable:

Apart from when he's asleep, this is what he looks like most of the time, though:

I am proud to have spawned a baby infant:

So far, he is a little demon out to make sure we never sleep. I love him, but at some point he'd better grow out of the helpless newborn blob phase. At least there's plenty of time to read books, papers, and contrarian blog posts about child development, the (non)-effects of parenting on eventual personality and behavior, and how to maximize a baby's IQ.

My totally benign mad dad science experiments thus begin. First up: I need to get a sweet EEG cap with active electrodes that can be comfortably worn by baby Max for hours per day so that he can start learning to control robots, lights, sounds, and more with his plastic baby brain while he's learning to control his limbs anyway. I don't know what kind of robots yet, but how cool (and not creepy) would it be to have a two-month-old riding a robot spider around with his head lighting up red whenever he cackles maniacally, emitting discordant mood-related noises based on his brain's electrical activity?

Totally cool. Let me know if you have any tips, expertise, or cautions about such EEG-controlled baby infant robot hackery. Better yet, if you want to team up, since I am no pro at either EEG or hardware. Yet.

I also want to get a solution for lifelogging everything (audio, hopefully video) from the baby's perspective, even better if we can stream speech recognition and start counting words and doing spaced repetition learning on his nascent vocabulary. Anyone seen any cool tech that could be hacked together for this and perhaps placed either on a baby or on his robot steed?

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Fri, 05 Jun 2015 21:08:33 +0000