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Spiraling Into Control

I wrote this as a guest post on the Beeminder blog — comments can live there.

It’s dark. Warm. Safe. You’re in bed, about to fall asleep. Pre-dream hallucinations of commanding a mighty bear army are playing across your sated mind. Zz — wait — what about that CrossFit Beeminder?!

You forgot. You got behind. You skipped CrossFit yesterday, but Beeminder said that was okay as long as you did it today instead. You meant to, but life happened. At this point, you think, “I am sumptuously swaddled in my favorite luxury bedding material, it’s late, and there is no way I’m going out in the street to do the workout-of-the-day in the dark, by myself, in my pajamas. And Beeminder will just charge me $5 this time. Okay, deal. Zzz.”

But I think there’s a better way to use Beeminder. When this happened to me, I didn’t even have to think about what to do; I just found myself out there grunting my medicine ball against a telephone pole and jumprope-sprinting into gloomy rosebushes. [1] It wasn’t even worth considering losing my wager over the tiny matter of some physical discomfort. What wager? Not money — just the certainty that I will always do what I promise myself I will do.

Tandem nursing: round two

On Toddler Breastfeeding

On July 1st, 2014 at 3:16am, our family grew by one very adorable little girl, Chloe. With her, a new adventure has started! A new tandem nursing experience with Chloe and Desmond.

Before Chloe was born, I was sure that this tandem experience would be exactly like the experience I had with Chase and Desmond. Chase was never jealous of Desmond. He never showed any ill feelings towards the baby. And he happily nursed right alongside Desmond. There was no need to explain sharing. Chase was content nursing on one side while Desmond nursed on the other. The only rough times I can remember were when I didn't want to nurse them both at the same time. As long as Chase got to nurse when Desmond nursed, all was well. Over time, Chase nursed less and less. He also got used to nursing without Desmond and waiting until Desmond was done nursing before he got a turn. I was taken by surprise when Desmond flat out refused to nurse with Chloe.

The first time I tried to nurse Desmond and Chloe, Desmond latched on first. I then laid Chloe on top of me to latch onto the other side while I laid back on the bed. Desmond immediately began to fuss and swat at her. He pushed her head. He tried to keep the other boob away from her so she couldn't latch. He finally gave up nursing and cried; kicking and hitting in frustration. He wanted nothing to do with nursing with his sister. As far as he knew, the nursing was all his. And maybe that's his personality. Or maybe that's because Chase hasn't nursed for the past 6 months and Desmond has forgotten what its like to share. I'll never know.

Tandem nursing started off much more difficult than the last time. But the three of us are finding our way. Desmond is more used to Chloe being around and has nursed with her calmly once. Desmond now knows that he can still nurse even though there is another nursling around to share with. It took some patience, understanding, and love from me. And of course, time.

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